When is a Fan No Longer? The Dark Side of YouTube Explored

An essay exploring fans who take their love of YouTubers too far

Fans at Vidcon, a YouTube convention

This one was interesting to write.

I found it a lot harder than my first post to get started, because I think the issues that I talk about here are a lot more serious. So, I wanted to give that seriousness some weight.

However, I'm also completely fascinated by the topic. Fascinated, because I can so easily see how I, myself, could have gone down the same deranged route, if only I'd stumbled on the wrong corner of the internet at the right time.

You see, in this post, we're talking about the fans who decide to take it too far.

We're talking about the sort of people who think that loving someone means stalking them to their house. The sort of people who think that loving someone means you're invited to all the family events.

Like, all of them. Even ones you definitely aren't invited to.

A Brief Summary of why Vlogging Works:

YouTube is the second most popular website in the world. Three hundred hours of video content gets uploaded to the site every minute, and almost five billion videos are watched every day.

Therefore, it's really no surprise that the more well known YouTubers on the site have a huge outreach of fans globally.

Unlike when it comes to celebrities that gained fame through music, acting or art, YouTube allows the viewer to get a more in depth, personal look into the YouTubers life.

The format of a traditional vlog often involves the YouTuber in sitting in a room in their house, usually their bedroom, looking directly into the camera and just... talking. (Though, of course, there is often far more to it than that.)

This format is very successful, as most of the larger YouTubers either began using this format, or continue to. The directness of the video format, coupled with a conversational tone creates a sense of connection between the viewer and the vlogger.

Watching a YouTube video shot in this style, it can be easy to forget the millions of other people who have also viewed. Instead, a sense of connection is created with the YouTuber. Listening to someone talk for hours on end can certainly create a feeling of 'knowing' who they are, especially when you can see their facial expressions at the same time.

I vividly remember my friend saying, back in 2013, that she had accidentally referred to the YouTuber Carrie Hope Fletcher as a personal friend after watching hours of her videos. With that remark, I gained personal insight into how effective the YouTube formula really is.

So, Where do the Issues Come in?

As I discussed in my previous blog post, feeling as though you know someone when there isn't actually a give and take relationship creates many problems.

However, the parasocial relationship functions slightly differently when it comes to that of the YouTuber and the fan. You see, unlike with fans of musicians or television shows, fans of YouTubers feel closer to the vlogger in question, and this closeness gives the fan a feeling of entitlement.

This entitlement comes into play because of the very structure of how YouTube works. Fans are able to directly see the impact that their views, likes and comments have on the success of the YouTuber.

The more views, comments and likes that a fan gives the YouTuber, the higher up the algorithm they go and the more money they're able to gain from the video. This is why the end plea at vlogs for the viewer to, "Like, comment and subscribe" has become so unanimously recognised.

Additionally, Q&As, challenges set by fans, and other such content generated by the viewers has become a large part of YouTubers posts. Therefore, pushing the boundaries between fan and creator even further away.

However, feeling entitled to the life of someone that you've never actually met is a dangerous game to play.

For one thing, it is very easy for people to alter facts about who they are online, even to the point of constructing whole new identities. For example, I've followed the YouTuber Lindsay Ellis for years, and yet only just found out she's married.

My point here being, that no matter how dedicated a fan you may think you are, there will always be a great many things that the YouTuber will keep hidden from their personal life. Despite how it may feel, you do not actually know the YouTuber.

Okay... But Who's Actually Gone Too Far?

Fans have always existed in some form or another. Due to this, it can be hard to know where drawing the line between teenage girl crushes, and over the top obsessive behaviour actually comes into play.

However, sometimes things happen which are so far over the line that I dedicate hours of my life to writing a blog post about it.

So, without further ado, let's talk about the Dolan Twins.

For those who aren't aware (don't worry, I wasn't either until recently), the Dolan Twins, Ethan and Greyson, are idential twins who initially rose to fame on the video app Vine. After Vine collapsed, they moved their content to YouTube, where they now have over nine million subscribers.

Recently, the twins shared emotional tributes to their father after he passed away from cancer. They also announced they would be taking some time away from their social media in order to spend time with family.

Now, you would expect a life altering event such as this to receive mainly support and understanding from fans, and for the most part, it did. After all, it's a truth universally acknowledged that the death of a loved one is a painful, complicated thing, especially if that loved one is someone as close as a parent.

Of course, this post is about the dark side of YouTube fandom. We're not focused on the nice, respectful fans.

Shortly after Grayson and Ethan posted about their father's death, an Instagram account entitled, "Sean Dolan Funeral" was started. The page has since been deleted, but screenshots of the posts were taken and made the rounds on Twitter.

Screenshot taken from @BIEBSMARA on Twitter

In the screenshots, we can clearly see several things that are wrong, here.

First of all, the fan who organised this clearly has no concept of acceptable boundaries. Like, imagine if this was, for a second, someone you knew. Not someone you knew well, but someone you'd at least spoken to. Once or twice. Briefly.

Now imagine if they showed up at your father's funeral, stood by the casket and cried.

It's weird, right? Even if you've met the person, they don't have any real connection to your father. You didn't invite them, they showed up out of the blue.

Their presence, even if they kept their distance and said nothing too unusual, would feel like a violation of your father's memory. You wouldn't want them there, and you would be put in an uncomfortable and painful position on an already difficult day.

Now, imagine if you had never met this person before and yet they still asked for pictures afterwards.

I can't even begin to imagine how the Dolan twins must have felt whenever these screenshots went viral. I can't imagine how they must have felt seeing their fans, people who are supposed to support them, thinking of invading their privacy and family in such a horrific way.

They did, however, both tweet a response. In their tweets, they beg people not to attend the funeral, emphasising that this is a time for them, alone, to be with family.

So... What Happens After Something Like This?

Thankfully, the account was suspended on Instagram, additional security was hired for the funeral, and the two Dolan brothers were able to grieve their father in peace.

However, the fact that this situation ever happened in the first place is crazy.

And, before you say anything, I am well aware that this kind of fan response is very extreme, and would never normally happen. In fact, it's so extreme that people I've shown it to refuse to believe it could possibly be real.

Surely it's a joke? They say. Surely, no one would ever actually go that far?

However, I think that it's completely real. I think that the whole situation is just a natural progression from where we, collectively, are allowing celebrity culture to drift.

All too often, celebrities have their personal lives completely invaded, supposedly in keeping with public interest. Khloe Kardashian was nine months pregnant and fielding paparazzi surrounding her partner's cheating, Ariana Grande was hounded and blamed after the death of ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, hell, Louis Tomlinson still has fans who don't think his son is real.

Therefore, we need to begin to understand that boundaries, although not implicitly stated, do exist.

Just because a YouTuber seems familiar and friendly to you, they are not actually your friend. You have no right to their life, or to their family. You have no right to dictate factors of their relationship, assault or harass them.

Imagine that internet fame is like sharing a box of chocolates with someone. Just because they give you one chocolate out of the box, doesn't mean you're suddenly entitled to every chocolate. That's not how life works. That's not how friendship works.

That's not how fame works.

And, I truly believe that the world would be a better (and safer) place if this was taught to young fans earlier.